"Bold Love" a Part-by-Part book review

I've recently begun reading a book entitled "Bold Love" by Dr. Dan B. Allender & Dr. Tremper Longman III. Besides the book being highly recommended to me by a few different people, what drew me to the book itself was actually the cover. Underneath the title, a few bullet points introduce what will be covered throughout the book.
-Know the difference between loving an evil person, a fool, and a normal sinner.
-What it means to "honor" a wicked parent.
-Why anger usually outlives forgiveness
-How to love an abusive person without opening yourself up to more damage.
-How a passion for revenge can work on love's behalf.
Pretty intriguing stuff to all be jammed into one 300 page book! The introduction starts out really just debunking the"forgive-and-forget" philosophy that Christians tend to use when "forgiving" others . He explores the idea that using this approach, really doesn't display love. This isn't suggesting that there aren't times when people are just being petty and should ignore minor irritations. Dr. Allender says,"Forgiving love is the inconceivable, unexplainable pursuit of the offender by the offended for the sake of restored relationship with God, self, and others." This concludes the summary of the introduction of the book. Good stuff so far! Definitely check this one out.

Religion Class?

It's been quite a while since my last post,and since then my life has had some radically life changing events occur. Not realy, but now that I have your attention....a new year means a new semester of classes and in my new class lineup I was lucky enough to into the religion class that I had really hoped to get in. The class is called "The Hebrew Bible and the Ancient Near East". I had hoped to get in this class as I really lack a lot of knowledge in the area of the Old Testament. I've always viewed it as long, dull, and having an abundance of laws and bearded dudes. Therefore, I forced myself to sign up for the class and I also began reading Old Testament books on my own in order to further my understanding of the vastness of the Old Testament. After about a month of attending this class, I found myself having to defend my personal views on certain scriptural passages. This caused me to quickly realize how stable my argument could be if it was based strictly on what the Bible says. I dont mean reading the Bible with my own argument in mind and then picking out verses that can be twisted to support my personal non-Biblical point of view. This is what organizations like Westboro Baptist Church have done. On a side note, visit to see the church's fairly shy stance on a few issues. It's a blast seeing a church so outspoken about something they are so wrong about. I digress. I mentioned how stable an argument based on the Bible really is. I've found myself looking forward to class because I know the teacher doesn't hold the viewpoint that the Bible is reliable. I have often caused her to stutter and blumber around her arguments in class by using the words from the passage right in front of me to debunk some of her views. I do this respectfully, of course, as she is the authority in the classroom, but I don't hold back my viewpoint simply because I know she may feel uncomfortable in her own small realm of power; her classroom. Don't ask me why a teacher would choose to devote her entire teaching career in attempt to debunk a book that is backed up by thousands of manuscripts, but I have greatly enjoyed solidifying my own view on a few issues, expanding it on a few others, and learning how to respectfully argue with someone that holds a position of authority above me. I'm not going to hold back an argument based on the fact that I am younger than someone. After all, in Jeremiah when God commands him to go prophesy, Jeremiah first says “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” and God pretty much debunks the idea of a young person not being usefull when he responds by saying,“Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD. I mean that pretty much sums it up. If God's on my side isn't it almost humorous to be afraid of anything?

"Boy Meets Girl" -Josh Harris

I'm reading the book "Boy Meets Girl" by Josh Harris. It's basically a book about Christian views on courtship, or dating with the purpose of marriage in mind. I had the epiphany a little while ago that I will be 20 years old this year. For some this may not seem like a big deal but it occurred to me that people usually get married in their twenties. (Disclaimer: The photo doesn't depict my views of marriage). This doesn't mean I'm destined to get married in my twenties or even get married at all if God's plan is for me to end up single for the rest of my life. As I'm reading the book I've come across a few passages that I personally found very useful. I thought that by sharing some thoughts from the book on here I could possibly retain them better than if I simply highlighted them or underlined cool quotes from it. I tend to retain information better if I copy it down in a notebook or vent my thoughts on here. The one chapter on communication was the most useful so far, I believe. As a guy I tend to not necessarily communicate emotions or thoughts that come to my mind as easily as some girls I know do. I'm not saying girls are wrong in the way they communicate, I'm just saying it's a gender difference. I think the majority of girls tend to be better at communicating in general when compared to men. Josh Harris mentions 10 tips for communication that can help to solve a conflict peacefully when a couple encounters one and he offers scripture to back each of the ideas up. I don't think this only applies to married folks.They are as follows

1. Learn to express your feelings and frustrations honestly but without accusing or attacking the other person (Proverbs 11:9)

2. Choose words, expressions, and a tone of voice that are kind and gentle. Don't use speech that could easily offend or spark an argument. (Proverbs 15:1)

3. Don't exaggerate, distort, or stretch the truth. Avoid extreme words like "never" and "always" (Ephesians 4:25)

4. Give actual and specific examples. If necessary, make notes before you communicate; stay away from generalities.

5. Commit yourself to seeking solutions instead of airing your grievances. Getting even isn't the goal- you want to get things resolved (Romans 12:17-21)

6. Listen to what the other person is saying, feeling, and needing. Try to detect his or her underlying concerns (James 1:9)

7. Refuse to indulge bitterness, anger, withdrawal, or argument. Though these emotions are normal, indulging them in a sin (Ephesians 4:26)

8. Don't hesitate to acknowledge your own failure, and be quick to forgive the other person. Make sure you don't hold a grudge. (Luke 17:3-4)

9. Keep talking and asking questions until you are sure you both understand clearly what the other person is saying and feeling. Encourage each other as you press toward a solution (Romans 14:19).

10. Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right thing at the right time in the right way for the right reasons.

All 10 tips are from pages 102-103

I'm currently reading Proverbs and James and one thing I really have come to admire specifically about James is that he tends to write things as they are; he doesn't butter the truth up. He simply says it as it is. In Chapter 3 verses 17 & 18 he says "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy, and good fruits, impartial and sincere. And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." I guess the hardest struggle for me is what happens if I encounter a person who has no desire to make peace? A fool who, as Proverbs 18:2 says, "takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion". I think Jesus expects us to "be the peacemakers" as Matthew 5:9 says.



I think tip #2 was the most useful for me personally. I think so often we get so angry at what the other person has done to us that we forget the commandment that Jesus calls the 2nd greatest commandment EVER. In Matthew 22:36 Jesus says, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And (yes Jesus can start sentences with "and") a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. One these two commandments depend all the Law and the prophets." If they are so closely tied I really believe could be summarized to say "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind by loving your neighbor as yourself". We cant compartmentalize our lives and keep our relationship with God section in our brain separate from how we interact and talk with people. Its like when James says in Chapter 2 verses 14-26 that faith without works is dead. If you don't show God's love in the way you love your neighbor, you have a dead faith, Friend. You are furthering God's kingdom no more than a rock or a tree does. I think the two commandments that Jesus gave us are the hardest to follow when in a conflict, and I think this is when we are expected to apply them the most. This means continuing to "love our neighbor" even when we are upset. I also have found little support in the Bible for yelling at a person who has wronged you. While yelling may be useful getting one's feelings out on the table quickly and it also may get the argument over quickly where does it say anywhere in the Bible to do anything quickly? Doesn't the entire Bible encourage patience more than anything else. Who of us would trust a surgeon who said, "Well if I just dive in there we can get this over with quickly!"? No. People are like internal organs. Only upon careful dissection and patient investigating can you then understand them. Now if someone can point out a verse that says "Blessed is the man who expresses his feelings quickly no matter how disrespectful to his neighbor." I would be very prone to change my views on how to handle conflicts and possibly consider rethinking my entire view on the Gospels, but sadly I have no knowledge of such a verse. I have read however that a man who "has a hasty temper exalts folly" (Proverbs 14:29)and I believe yelling when angry falls in the category of "exalting folly" and not exactly being the peacemaker. Just some thoughts after reading Proverbs, James, and a book by Josh Harris. More to follow.

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Spiritual Warfare

I have been experiencing something that is extremely hard to describe in words when talking to people. I can usually formulate my thoughts better when writing them down and maybe in this process I myself can figure a few things out about what exactly has been occurring around me lately. My story begins on Saturday night. I was sitting alone in my room at my desk watching a TV show on my computer when suddenly I felt chills go down my spine and got goosebumps. This was followed by an intense feeling of panic; like I had to leave my room as soon as possible. I just wanted to be out of there as soon as humanly possible. I stood up, grabbed my keys, and left my room with my TV show still playing on my computer. After leaving I just walked downstairs.
I was genuinely upset and didn't really know what was going on but I felt like God wanted me out of my room. I felt silly after a few minutes and started to get thoughts like "Well you're just being stupid, you're just tired and need to sleep. You're just freaking yourself out." So I went back upstairs and turned the doorknob to my room and as soon as I was one step back into my room I felt all the same feelings come back. Goosebumps, cold chills, and a feeling of utter fear and panic. This was the final straw. I was not going in my room. Keep in mind that this was all occurring at 1:30 (Yes I know this is late; welcome to a college life weekend). I went for a walk outside trying to call someone so that I could sleep elsewhere but obviously no one was up so I sat in my downstairs lobby and prayed for a bit. After a while I started to feel at peace and, once again I can't explain it, but I feel like God told me it was safe to go back to my room. I felt pretty confident that God was telling me this so I got up and went back into my room and just sat down on my bed. I read my Bible and prayed with music on in the background. One thing I have taken from the entire experience was simply this. We need to know that spiritual warfare is going on all around us every second of every day. This stuff is real and we need to be placing our trust in God. A healthy fear is necessary. This is not stuff to be messed with and we need to be keeping God as our guard against attacks from the Devil. Since this experience I've had this very ominous feeling surrounding me whenever I am alone. I am not depressed. I feel like when walking to class I notice how quiet the world is around me. It's a very hard thing to describe. I just have this very real sense of being alone, almost as if I am being watched all the time. Yeah this is never fun to experience. It's beginning to weigh me down and I'm finding that every day I am almost afraid to leave my room, but at the same time I am afraid to be alone. I just feel so mentally and emotionally weighed down by this dark feeling around me that I don't want to do anything on a day to day basis. Again, I don't consider myself depressed by any means, I just have been sensing what I think is very real spiritual warfare going on around me. This may sound dramatic but it's what's been going on in my life lately and I felt like maybe sharing it would open your mind to new thoughts and get you thinking about stuff that you possibly haven't thought about lately.