Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Follow

Just a general note, if you are one of the few people that happen to read this regularly, click the "Follow" button on the right hand side of my page. ------->

It's sort of a matter of blogger pride to see how many followers you can get. That is all. Thank you.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Spiritual Warfare


I have been experiencing something that is extremely hard to describe in words when talking to people. I can usually formulate my thoughts better when writing them down and maybe in this process I myself can figure a few things out about what exactly has been occurring around me lately. My story begins on Saturday night. I was sitting alone in my room at my desk watching a TV show on my computer when suddenly I felt chills go down my spine and got goosebumps. This was followed by an intense feeling of panic; like I had to leave my room as soon as possible. I just wanted to be out of there as soon as humanly possible. I stood up, grabbed my keys, and left my room with my TV show still playing on my computer. After leaving I just walked downstairs.
I was genuinely upset and didn't really know what was going on but I felt like God wanted me out of my room. I felt silly after a few minutes and started to get thoughts like "Well you're just being stupid, you're just tired and need to sleep. You're just freaking yourself out." So I went back upstairs and turned the doorknob to my room and as soon as I was one step back into my room I felt all the same feelings come back. Goosebumps, cold chills, and a feeling of utter fear and panic. This was the final straw. I was not going in my room. Keep in mind that this was all occurring at 1:30 (Yes I know this is late; welcome to a college life weekend). I went for a walk outside trying to call someone so that I could sleep elsewhere but obviously no one was up so I sat in my downstairs lobby and prayed for a bit. After a while I started to feel at peace and, once again I can't explain it, but I feel like God told me it was safe to go back to my room. I felt pretty confident that God was telling me this so I got up and went back into my room and just sat down on my bed. I read my Bible and prayed with music on in the background. One thing I have taken from the entire experience was simply this. We need to know that spiritual warfare is going on all around us every second of every day. This stuff is real and we need to be placing our trust in God. A healthy fear is necessary. This is not stuff to be messed with and we need to be keeping God as our guard against attacks from the Devil. Since this experience I've had this very ominous feeling surrounding me whenever I am alone. I am not depressed. I feel like when walking to class I notice how quiet the world is around me. It's a very hard thing to describe. I just have this very real sense of being alone, almost as if I am being watched all the time. Yeah this is never fun to experience. It's beginning to weigh me down and I'm finding that every day I am almost afraid to leave my room, but at the same time I am afraid to be alone. I just feel so mentally and emotionally weighed down by this dark feeling around me that I don't want to do anything on a day to day basis. Again, I don't consider myself depressed by any means, I just have been sensing what I think is very real spiritual warfare going on around me. This may sound dramatic but it's what's been going on in my life lately and I felt like maybe sharing it would open your mind to new thoughts and get you thinking about stuff that you possibly haven't thought about lately.